i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My balls are so social today.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
