If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize