Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".