Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
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you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
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Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.