butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.