I think i peed on brittanys purse
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
The beer is more important than you right now.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.