Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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