She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
