Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
