i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
