Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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