I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
