Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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