I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
