woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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