Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
