i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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