I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
