i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
