i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
