I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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