Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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