I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
