if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
