Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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