K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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