Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
