Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
