i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
