i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
