ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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