There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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