Betty ford says i'm here all night
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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