Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
