gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
