When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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