If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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