I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
