i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
