CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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