My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
