Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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