You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
