First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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