Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
