you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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