I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
