I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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