Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize