I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm drive I can fine osifer
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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