Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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