Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
