i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
