I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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