and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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