That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
