So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
