I wannas sexs uuuuu
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
