are you so shy because you have an std?
my sisters under your porch take her home
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
