margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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