i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
