Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
