He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
