I molested 6 butterflies tonight
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
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