We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so let's talk penis.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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